I can always tell when I feel like things are spiraling a bit out of control in my life because I do one of three things. I watch makeup tutorials on you tube (thanks Kandee Johnson and Pixiwoo!); I buy cosmetics; or, most frequently, I watch videos and look at photos of planners and notebooks on youtube and/or instagram.
It does seem weird I suppose to find other people’s organizational systems comforting in times of stress. But I do. And right now I am in one of those points where I am looking at these sites a lot and trying to get my own systems for keeping work and family life under control geared back up again.
This year it’s been particularly tricky to feel on top of things because not only did little Felix arrive in February, but we also had a house fire that left us living in temporary accomodations for five months while we managed an unplanned renovation to our house (not something that one would normally do with a 3 month old!). This, with going back to full-time work and just adjusting to life with a baby again has really put the old coping and organizational skills to work. Oh yes, and did I mention that Mr. Peach is now making a career transition too?! Oy Vey!
Through all of this I have learned some things that have helped me to find a modicum of balance as a working mum of two small kids.
(1) Write things down – I have the memory of a flea these days. I think it was better before babies, but I can’t remember. I have to write everything down. Everything. I feel like my life is lists, but even though the lists can get long and complicated, it’s better than forgetting things. It does require that you look at the list again after you write things down though. Guess who learned that the hard way…
(2) Write things down in one place (two at most) – This seems obvious to me now, but having spent years and years writing things on little scraps of paper and in different notebooks, its become painfully clear that you need one place to write things down. Having one central place for everything, makes it much easier to stay on top of things. I think I first came across this idea from the flylady website (many years ago), but have since sort of adapted what I do a bit. Now I use a hybrid “control journal” (which sounds dreary to me) and bullet journal which works very well for me as I use it for both work and personal stuff.
(3) Make it pretty if it helps – I like my notebook or planner to look nice. Having my book be visually appealing is weirdly important to me. But I am not the only one. I know this for a fact because there are so many people out there that do incredible things with their planners and bullet journals. If you need inspiration just search for #bulletjournal on instragram and you will be amazed!
(4) Review your lists on a monthly, weekly and daily basis – After reading Getting Things Done by David Allen I have really adopted the idea that regular review of your lists and priorities is the lynchpin to any system. Without reviewing what you have done and the next steps for you to make progress on any of the 150 projects you have going on in your life, you will quickly find yourself discouraged and lost, and all the work you put into keeping your lists is wasted.
Plus, if you are someone who is able to come up with long-term goals, you can use your monthly, weekly and daily planning sessions to really ensure that the things that you are focused on are what is truely important to you and where you want to be headed. Goal-setting is something that I am trying to do better on myself, so if you have any recommendations of books to read or things to try, please let me know!
(5) Recognize that your life cannot easily be divided between work and family – this has been a big one for me as I have eased back into work. While it would be nice to think that there is “work time” and there is “personal time” unfortunately, that’s just not the case. I find myself scheduling doctor’s appointments and work and writing emails while I am rocking a little one to sleep. That’s just the way it is. But having everything in one place, using a system that works for me and is responsive to this reality makes me feel less terrible about it.
(6) Planning is self care, but you need to plan FOR self care too – As a mum, whether you work outside the home or inside the home, I have come to realize that the entire family relies on me for just about everything. My state of mind, health and well-being has a direct impact on my lovies. For that reason it’s critical that I do what you can to stay sane – from having a book that helps me feel like I can cope managing everyone’s stuff, to making sure that I have time for contemplation, and exercise (well, I am working on this part!). For me, planning is self care in that it makes me feel a little more like I can balance all of the demands on my time, and also helps me to ensure that I make time for myself where I can so that I can really be present for my family the rest of the time.
What do you do to stay on top of things? I totally geek on this stuff, so please let me know!